The Sibling Relationship

One of the most endearing phases of one's life is the small moments that one spends with the brother or sister. I am told when the brother was born, my reaction to the situation was nothing to be proud of. Right from pulling him down from the cot when no one was around, to throwing my tantrums when attention was given to him, I went the whole hog.

But slowly and unknown to my own feelings, he became one of the most integral part of my life. We became partners in crime for better or for worse and stood by each other whenever required. I remember how he irritated me with his endless needling, poking in my personal space, following me with his silly banters, taking the living breath out of me with the threaded cockroaches and lizards that was innocently dangled in front of my screaming face. But inspite of all that, days were always empty whenever he was not around and the animated, liveliness that I felt with him was always missing when he was not around.

Slowly, our education and our professions took us in two different directions. We still were as possessive about each other as only siblings can be, but the opportunities to be together, to fight or share our moments of joy, became few and far in between.

As each of us went our separate paths and then leaned on to partners new, I remember the resistance that we both felt towards each other’s partner. We felt cheated of the unique bonding that we had and it seemed that someone else was forcing into the space which was reserved just for us. We fought and screamed, and for a short time managed to create a lot of disturbance in each other’s life. But, now when I look back, I know all those moments were a part of the growing up phase and added the ‘zing’ to life.

Now that we are both married and leading our own lives, we know that our priorities in life have become different. We have now become more accepting of the different spouses and have extended the protective shield to encompass them too. But, even today, when I am in a difficult situation and need a shoulder to lean on, I still miss my brother, who now stays in far away London. Other than my dad and husband, he is the only one that I can trust with my life.

I wish he comes back to India soon and be here for good.